i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
