I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
