Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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