Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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