why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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