Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
