my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
