I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
