Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
