Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
