Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
