Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Randomize
