Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
