Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We are all done wearing pants today
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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