I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
