i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
