whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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