just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
