Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
