seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
