What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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