dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
