Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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