We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Drake has all the answers
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
