Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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