I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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