Whod you bang
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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