ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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