Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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