I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
