We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
