We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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