Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i now understand why vodka
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
