fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
