Pappa wants mamma naked
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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