apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
