Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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