after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
