i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So apparently I’m into choking now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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