Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
