Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
