I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
