You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
