Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
