matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
