Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
