he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
