Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
