i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
