i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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